I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
