Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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