Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize