Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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