the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
