Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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