my vag is so smooth its legendary
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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