Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
