is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
