Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
