we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize