The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
