saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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