I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
