I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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