I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
