He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
