I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
