Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
