Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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