i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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