Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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