i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize