Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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