I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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