he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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