I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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