no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
