Cold hands, warm shart.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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