Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
