Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
