so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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