She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
