The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
