I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
