I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
