We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
