have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
