somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
