What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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