If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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