Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
