I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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