I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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