Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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