so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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