But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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