D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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