roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
