Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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