Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
