with your own penis?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
