Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
