You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
