The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
