just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
