For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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