some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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