i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize