i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
