Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
