i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
