Christians are straight up FREAKS
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
