I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
