I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
