mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
