And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
