I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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