How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
