Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
