we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
