I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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